A man was brought before the judge and charged with NECROPHILIA (making love to a dead body).

The judge told him,

"In 20 years on the bench, I've never heard such a disgusting, immoral thing. Just give me one good reason why I shouldn't lock you up and throw away the jail keys?"

The man replied,

"I'll give you THREE good reasons:

1. It's none of your damn business;

2. She was my wife; and...

3. I didn't KNOW she was dead, she ALWAYS acted that way!"

A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work.

One rainy day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway.

'Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's home early!'

'I can't jump out the window. It's raining out there!'

'If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!' she replied. 'He's got a hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your problems!'

So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window! As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town's annual marathon, so he started running along beside the others, about 300 of them.

Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could. After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer.

Do you always run in the nude?' one asked.

'Oh yes!' he replied, gasping in air. 'It feels so wonderfully free!'

Another runner moved a long side.

'Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?'

'Oh, yes' our friend answered breathlessly. 'That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!'

Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and asked, 'Do you always wear a condom when you run?'

'Nope...just when it's raining.'

The most effective, productive and everlasting participation that we can offer on this Holy Christmas Day is our authentic and honest prayers for the repentance and salvation of evildoers. We must pray for those evil and wicked world leaders, rulers, politicians, fundamentalists and outlawed militants whose devastating culture of greed and vicious acts of terrorism are threatening peace and tranquility over four continents.

Apostle Paul in his Letter to the Romans speaks about these evil people and describes thoroughly their thinking and conduct 03/10-18: "As it is written, �There is no one righteous; no, not one. There is no one who understands. There is no one who seeks after God. They have all turned aside. They have together become unprofitable. There is no one who does good, no, not, so much as one.� 3:13 Their throat is an open tomb. With their tongues they have used deceit. The poison of vipers is under their lips; �whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness. Their feet are swift to shed blood. Destruction and misery are in their ways. The way of peace, they haven�t known. There is no fear of God before their eyes."

One might wonder why we should pray and particularly on the Christmas Day for those that are creating world-wide havoc, advocate grudges and hatred, classify us as infidels, allege we are their worst enemies, call openly for our death, and proudly legitimize our slaughter?

The answer is very simple. We should pray for them because they are lost, evil, morally sick and need our help. Jesus has already answered this question in Matthew 9/12 & 13: "Those who are healthy have no need for a physician, but those who are sick do. But you go and learn what this means: I desire mercy, and not sacrifice, for I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.".

The faithful and righteous man has an obligation to love his enemies and forgive them as well as to bless those who hate, persecute and curse him. Luke 6:28: "bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you."

The secret and magic formula word in all this holy cycle of forgiveness, meekness, patience, endurance and acceptance of others is LOVE, and as the bible teaches us LOVE is GOD. Proverbs 19:11: "A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense".

Apostle Paul in his First Letter to the Corinthians explains what love is and what it encompasses: 13/4-13: "Love is patient and is kind; love doesn�t envy. Love doesn�t brag, is not proud, doesn�t behave itself inappropriately, doesn�t seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil; doesn�t rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 1 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will be done away with. Where there are various languages, they will cease. Where there is knowledge, it will be done away with. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part; but when that which is complete has come, then that which is partial will be done away with. When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I felt as a child, I thought as a child. Now that I have become a man, I have put away childish things. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I will know fully, even as I was also fully known. But now faith, hope, and love remain�these three. The greatest of these is love."

If we love those who love us, help those who do not need help, pray for those who are righteous, and feed those who are not hungry, we do nothing different from anybody else including the sinners and wicked. But when we can tame ourselves to love those who hate us and help those who need help, than we are making something different. 1 Samuel 24:17: "You are more righteous than I, he said. You have treated me well, but I have treated you badly."

Almighty God loves us, we His children, and wants us to return back to His heavenly mansions that have been prepared for us. Therefore, He has sent His begotten son to be humiliated, tortured, persecuted and crucified in a bid absolve our original sin and be a role model in love and sacrifice. John15/12 & 13: �This is my commandment, that you love one another, even as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends"

With the Christmas Spirit let all genuinely pray for those of us who are hurt, lonely, feel betrayed and deserted by their beloved ones. Those who are enduring in silence pain, anguish, and are deprived of happiness, warmth and joy on this holy and adorned day.

Let us all take Jesus a role model in our lives. Let us learn from Him the graces of forgiveness, sacrifice, love and the obligation for helping those who need our help and even those who hate and hurt us. Romans 12:20: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."

May God Bless you all and shower upon you, your families, friends, and beloved ones all graces of joy, health, love, forgiveness, meekness and hope. 1 Thessalonians 5:15: "Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else".

I call on you all to pray for the salvation of our beloved country of Lebanon and ask Almighty God to lead and bless the peace endeavors of righteous politicians and leaders all over the world.

On this Christmas Day may Jesus Christ, God of love, justice and mercy, dwell in your hearts, minds, souls and conscience to purify you and lead your steps into righteousness.

Merry Christmas

Morris returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him that he has only 24 hours to live.

Given the prognosis, Morris asks his wife for sex.

Naturally, she agrees, so they make love.

About 6 hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, 'Honey, you know I now have only 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one more time?'

Of course, the wife agrees, and they do it again.

Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes that he now has only 8 hours left.

He touches his wife's shoulder and asks 'Honey, please.... just one more time before I die.'

She says, 'Of course, Dear,' and they make love for the third time.

After this session, the wife rolls over and falls to sleep.

Morris, however, worried about his impending death, tosses and turns, until he's down to 4 more hours. He taps his wife, who rouses. 'Honey, I have only 4 more hours. Do you think we could...'

At this point the wife sits up and says, 'Listen Morris, enough is enough I have to get up in the morning... you don't.'